


Rats and Ships

by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Jossed, Life Debt, Plans, Post - Goblet of Fire, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-07
Updated: 2004-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2451509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenfalling/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Culmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After GoF, Peter Pettigrew reflects on Voldemort's plans and his debt to Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rats and Ships

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet is a companion to [Trust](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2451500). It was a speculative characterization exercise rendered AU by later canon.

I knew the plan was madness from the beginning -- my master was relying on Crouch, the crazed fanatic, to maintain his cover all year; relying on Harry, a boy younger and less experienced than his opponents, to win the Tournament; relying on Nagini and me, a snake and a servant of uncertain loyalty, to keep him alive until the Third Task -- but what could I do? Kill him and disappear into the Muggle world? Yes, I could have done that -- he was helpless at that stage -- but who wants to live without magic? I'd already spent twelve years hiding as a rat, and I wasn't going back to any sort of half-life.

The Dark Lord was a great man. He may be again, if he can overcome the madness engendered by ten years of helpless incorporeality.

It wasn't until the Third Task, the second great sticking point of my life, that he told me why he was so obsessed with Harry: the boy who saved my life is the one person with the power to defeat my master. Once again, I had to choose.

I have never been so thankful in my life that the Dark Lord is a proud man. His pride allowed Harry to escape, and so I didn't have to discover whether I'm the sort of man to betray a life debt and kill an innocent boy.

You look surprised. Don't be. I may have come to despise his father, but Harry granted me my life. And I watched him enough as Scabbers to know that, unlike James, he doesn't disregard his friends. He's there for them at the sticking points, but he also remembers them during the other times, the times when James would have been laughing behind my back with Sirius. And so while I was willing to bleed him in order to revive the Dark Lord, well... let me say that it would have been difficult to kill him, and leave it at that.

I don't wish death on Harry, but I confess it would be difficult for me if he killed my master. I have, as I said, no particular desire to return to life as a rat or to become, for all intents and purposes, a Muggle. And I do believe in some of my master's plans. I believe even more in his ability to reward my service. I think, therefore, that whenever Harry or the Dark Lord engineers their final confrontation, I will be as far from that battle as humanly possible.

Of course, my flight will have an ostensible purpose that serves my master's aims yet is innocent enough to arouse no suspicion from Aurors or local hero-types, but I'm sure you already knew that if you gave any thought to the matter.

I am, after all, a survivor.


End file.
